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Finding Inner Peace and Forgiveness When Someone Has Wronged You

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One of the hardest things to do when someone has hurt you or made you angry is to stay calm and forgive them. It is far too easy to let your emotions take over and unfortunately, this is probably the worst thing you can do.Finding Inner Peace

But I know first hand that sometimes the feelings are so strong there is no way you can control them. And then you end up regretting your actions.

So how can you find inner peace and forgiveness when someone has wronged you? How can you take the high road and feel good about it without feeling like you are not sticking up for yourself (all you want is respect and to be treated fairly right?)

Well the answer is quite simple. It’s not simple to do, but the answer to how to achieve this is…do nothing. Your best course of action when you want nothing more than to react is to NOT react. Let non reaction be your reaction.

I told you it isn’t simple or easy, or even possible sometimes. I personally have come a long way, 10 years ago I couldn’t possibly do anything of the sort. I’ve still got work to do at controlling my emotions and self control. But I have come a long way and now…instead of never feeling like I can control my behavior and in the “moment” I often still can’t, depends on the moment, but now it takes me a considerable less amount of time to feel the peace and forgiveness that I want to find. I’m hoping with more work and reflection that someday I will be able to feel these things right then and there, in that moment, when you want nothing more than to react…I will simply take a deep breath and let it go and if need be, walk away.

There are some tools (i.e methods and books) that I’ve used to help aid me in my search for inner peace. I was always a forgiving person, but sometimes that forgiveness would take quite awhile. It is practically instantaneous now, because I know better.

I know that holding on to the anger does me no good. It won’t help the situation and it only ends up hurting me more. So I let it go. Sometimes I need to go for a long walk. Often times I need to be alone in order to finally feel better – you do whatever you have to do, because hanging onto anger…is pointless and will only hurt you.

What is that saying? “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”How to Deal with Anger

So my recommendations if you are looking for inner peace and trying to figure out how to deal with a difficult situation where you feel you were wronged, start by reading these books.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
Zen: A simple path to more happiness, more tranquility, and less problems by Andrew Daley

All of these books will tell you that one of the best things you can do is meditate and to breathe. This is the beginning to finding what it is you are looking for and I highly recommend them. Sometimes even now when I’m having a difficult time de-stressing or dealing with a difficult situation I will turn to these books, simply reading the words and taking a moment is all I need to calm down.

Please leave any comments or questions you have below, and if you have any book recommendations that have particularly helped you, please share 🙂



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8 comments to Finding Inner Peace and Forgiveness When Someone Has Wronged You

  • Simoc  says:

    Hi Tess, I have been following Cynthia Occelli for a while and her book “Resurrecting Venus’ is excellent. At her website you will find a free book called Inspired Living which is a nice intro to her work. It helps so much to understand the things that work for you and in your favour. Keep up the good work, Simon

  • Fred Chong  says:

    Good advice to “do nothing” in a difficult situation. Yo reminded me of just lending a listening ear to a friend pouring out her sorrows, being a good listener is enough in situation when uttering any word may not be helpful at all. Love your site with very helpful contents. Keep it up!

  • Sonny Lethcoe  says:

    Hey Tess,

    Very good points in your post. I also find that making sure that you strive to not live in the past (easier said that done) is one of the biggest helps in moving on from when I have been wronged. And if you cling to those past wrongs, you really cheat yourself and the people who you love the most out of time that they deserve from you. That anger, resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness really is a poison that eat away your soul.

  • Tess  says:

    Thanks for your comment Sonny 🙂 Yes, it is easier said than done, but it sure works better when you can do it!

  • Tess  says:

    Thanks so much for your comment Fred, really appreciate it!

  • Tess  says:

    Thanks for the comment and information about her book, I’ll definitely check it out!

  • Craig  says:

    Hi Tess this is a great article you have composed and very good suggestions for not hanging on to anger. I use meditation and for me I seem to have more patience these days. Going for a walk is a great idea because I find it relieves tension quickly.
    Thanks for the info Tess.

  • Tess  says:

    Thanks for your comment Craig! Glad to hear meditation is working for you as well. I just recently learned about walking meditation, apparently I’ve been doing that for years without knowing it! Sometimes people find it hard to SIT and meditate, walking is a great alternative plus you get the added benefit of exercise 🙂

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