Need Someone to Talk To?
To this day it still amazes me when people don’t or can’t understand why someone would commit suicide. The answer is obvious though, they’ve never felt truly alone. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to and when you realize you really don’t have anyone (or at least anyone you actually feel like you can turn to) it can be not only a lonely feeling, but a debilitating one.
How can I know this?
Because I have felt suicidal. I have felt so alone with no one to turn to that the idea of just “ending that kind of pain” seemed like the rational thing to do. Being secluded and isolated in life is a terrible feeling.
Isolation is a form of punishment, so anyone who feels this way even if they aren’t technically in prison knows this.
The other day I felt this low. I knew it was temporary. I knew that my mind/mood would change so I waited it out. Things haven’t changed, I’m still low – but no longer suicidal. It’s a strange thing.
But at the time when I was that low I went looking online for help. I found some cool sites that I thought would help me, ironically one of them supposedly had a chat line where you could talk to someone. But when I finally got the guts to click Chat, guess what? No one was there.
I journal. And the fact that no one was there when I needed them got me thinking. Sometimes just airing what is bothering you can help. Not completely, but it can help. So I am offering you a place here to do just that. I may not be here to chat with in your time of need RIGHT when you need me. But I am giving you an outlet to share with someone who cares how you are feeling.
If you need someone to talk to, if you are feeling alone, lonely, or suicidal. Please, send me a message and tell me what’s wrong. I care. You matter and if you really feel like there is no one you can turn to, please turn to me.
You can contact me HERE and tell me anything you wish. I will get back to you as soon as I possibly can, but the bottom line is that I’m hoping knowing that I’m here, that I care, and that you are able to vent your feelings to another human being will help you get over your difficult and low moment.
As I said, I journal. But that can only help so much. I did eventually break down that night and email a friend of mine. I knew he wouldn’t be writing me back any time soon, but it helped me a little to know that he does care and that I was able to share my low moment with him.
I want to be that person for you. Suicidal thoughts can be very scary. And coming close to actually acting on them can be even scarier.
I know from personal experience it doesn’t help when people say “you are not alone.” It really doesn’t, does it?
Maybe you have TONS of friends but feel like you don’t have any, or that they actually care about you. Maybe you don’t have any friends or very few.
It doesn’t seem to matter what our station is in life, how many people we have that claim to care. When you feel alone, you feel that way for a reason.
I think the worst thing is when you try to turn to someone and they look down upon you for being what they would call “weak”. When they don’t take your feelings seriously, simply because they can’t understand, because they’ve never been there.
Well, I’ve been there. It still happens to me sometimes. And I care. So please, consider me your friend. And send me a message.
I actually wrote this post a few days before Robin Williams committed suicide. I am so saddened by his loss, as I know so many are. It will always amaze me that with all of the people in the world, no matter who you are, we still end up feeling alone. And…obviously sometimes we truly are or there wouldn’t be those moments in time when people could actually carry out their plan. For me, it is rarely a plan – it is something that comes up due to an overwhelming emotion or pain. If we all had someone who could help pull us back from the brink, Robin Williams and so many others would still be alive. His moment of despair would have passed (yes he probably would have had more) but he also would have had many more happy moments too. Such a tragedy. Please, please, please! If you feel this low, write me, call someone, do ANYTHING but listen to the dark thoughts in your head.
Don’t Jump Until You’ve Talked to Me!!
Thinking of you,
Kat
NurturingYourBody.com
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