How to Makeup With Your Girlfriend or Wife

Did you make another mistake? Have you blown it for good this time?

How should I know? What did you do, exactly?

(If you seriously feel like answering that, contact me here)

But really, the thing about women is this…we (most of us anyway) are FORGIVING.

That is, if you actually make an effort and apologize for what you did. That apology can be in word form, or in the form of gifts or simply making it up to us…if there was something you forgot to do or you messed up a planned date or something.

Honestly, if your girl has gone cold on you and you don’t know what to do, the best advice I can give you is: Do The Opposite of What You Feel Like Doing.

I say that because more often than not your instinct is to do nothing. You don’t know how to approach her, she frankly scares you at the moment. Anything you do or say could end up in a fight or worse, a break-up (if it hasn’t already).

The silly thing is…most of the time, depending on what you did mind you, all it takes is some sort of remorse shown and something caring done for her so that she knows you are a) sorry and b) aren’t going to do it again.

If you do DO it again…a) what were you thinking? and b) be prepared for the effort you need to show her your sorry that time to be even more.

How do I know this?

Because I’m an expert, or didn’t you know that?

Because I’m a woman…and I have men in my life, that’s how.

The sad thing is, so many men just don’t know what to do when they’ve hurt the feelings of their loved one. They tend to pull away and grow cold themselves rather than deal with the issue head on. Sometimes all it would take is a nice backrub or a hug to mend fences.

Sometimes planning some alone time together, an evening out, or simply doing something without being asked. It really depends on what you did and how long the “cold shoulder” from your woman has been going on.

Trust me, inside she is saying, “I wish he would just…”.

But the sad truth is that most of the time, he never will.

You could change that though. You could be a minority in the sea of men, and be one who gets it. Who realizes that when you hurt her feelings you need to make up for it in some way. It isn’t right or fair to just brush it under the rug and pretend like it didn’t happen. All that does is build resentment in her.

Even if after awhile it seems things have gone back to normal, trust me, they haven’t completely for her. That hurt remains unless it is dealt with. And although it might be hard for you to deal with it…that it goes against your instincts, how hard do you think it was for her to endure it?

Let’s take standing up a date as an example.

You know you have the date (or maybe you completely forgot it), but instead of making her the priority you put something else in its place and you don’t even bother to call or text her to let her know that something came up.

A) How would you feel if someone did that to you? (You probably would feel pretty much the way she felt…lousy. Unimportant and forgotten. NOT a priority.)

B) What would someone need to do for you to make it up to you for making you feel that way?

Answer those questions and you have a start of how you can mend the fence with her. And here’s a little hint – Don’t Ever Do It Again!!

If you do, and you’re dealing with a women with high self-esteem…guess what? You probably aren’t going to get another chance. You might…if you REALLY make it up to her, but believe me…if you ever did it again, you’d never see her again.

If she has low self-esteem you’d have more of a chance. But how cruel are you to prey on someone like that if she can’t stand up for herself in that situation?

Don’t stand up a chick. Period.

That was just one example. A pretty extreme one yes, there are many little things men do to hurt the women in their lives (unintentionally I know). If you have done something small, then the repair should be simple.

Give her a hug, a kiss. A backrub. Set up a date and have some fun with her. Do Something NICE For Her.

I’m awestruck by what I hear all of the time, men whining about women. Women nag, nag, nag…right? We aren’t any fun.

Well, guess what? We ARE fun. So do something fun with us, you’ll probably see a whole new side of the person you THOUGHT you knew.

If you still want to run something by me for advice if you are in a predicament after doing something that hurt her feelings, please leave a comment below or contact me here.

I also highly recommend checking out the 5 Love Languages, that book is so incredibly helpful to relationships and could possibly help you to speak her language (and she yours) so that there are fewer conflicts. You can read my full review of the 5 Love Languages Here.

Your Friend,

Kat
NurturingYourBody.com